fleetsparrow ◾ NaNo, Write Mo' (Reply)

~~(this is a very serious post and I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist that headline)~~

Finally, after about a decade of trying to figure out why NaNo, the one time the rest of the world (more or less) cares about writing, is always not only the one time of the year that I write LESS, but also seems to actively depress me about writing, I did it.

I figured it out.

Every year, I see the same things: people going on about how great NaNo is, how excited they are to go back to a novel, how thrilling it is to be surrounded by writers and old friends and meet new friends, and how everyone tries to make space for new writers, and all that.

And every year, I either can't work up the enthusiasm or find it actually stifling to try and create during NaNo. At first, I thought it was the word count, but I've won before. Then I thought it was the novel structure itself, but I've done that before, too.

But I figured out it's actually NaNo, not me.

See, all the messaging is talking about how this, now, is the time when you can do whatever you want in a story. When you take charge of your writing life and put real life on hold for your dreams and use one month to do something you've never done before (sometimes, this same message even if you've done NaNo before).

But, I don't.

I write all the fucking time.

All year. Every day.

Not that I actually put down words every day, god knows. I've gone months without physically writing down anything.

But I'm always thinking of stories. I'm always working on characters. I'm always writing in my head, even if not anywhere else.

And I think that's the problem.

NaNo is geared to be a once in a year thing. Yes, even with their "Now, What?" months. Even with the Camp NaNo months. Even with their new ability to set goals year-round.

The way NaNo is marketed is that you don't write all the time. You do have A story to tell, and THIS is your chance to do it.

But I have so many stories. And they're constantly mutating and changing and writing and rewriting themselves every single day.

I literally cannot afford to wait for a once-a-year event to "tell my story."

Because it's always happening.

And I don't know what I'd do if I really held off for a sanctified time.